Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
high people should be assigned attendants
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize