can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I AM VODKA MAN
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
