If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
