I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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