that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
