when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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