is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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