Can i not drive my cunt home
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She told me I should be a condom model.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
