four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize