Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
