I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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