she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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