I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
