remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
