So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
