doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
