It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
