Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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