I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you win again, gameday.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Randomize
