I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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