I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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