Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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