Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
