I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
