I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
