I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
