lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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