Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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