Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
