There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Randomize
