i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
