We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
