you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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