Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
