I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
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