ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
