walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
