Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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