No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
