i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
