Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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