And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
