Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
