You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
