sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
