When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
