no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
