I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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