I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
