I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize