just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
