I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
