when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
only you would photoshop your dick
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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