god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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