Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
