Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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