I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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