To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just tell him i said nine months
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
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