you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
