If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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