to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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