So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
