i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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