I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
