i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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